Tahiti

I need to
wipe the tear stains from my glasses which
I haven't cleaned in days
And
clear the clutter which has accumulated while
my mind's been in a haze
Because
my best friend has left me here alone with
only her memory
In one week
it's amazing how much your life can change
when someone
who couldn't even speak her mind
at least not verbally
Has left your side
Left pain behind
Escaped the confines of worldly time
In my mind she will live on
lend strength and patience to my song
so I can chase my dream
Seventeen years is nowhere near enough
but still our bond was
whole, pure love
Though small she was a fighter, though soft, she was
so strong
And how I'll always wish to reach out
and just
touch her little paw
gaze into those big blue, soulful eyes,
the ones with which she taught me:
To yourself, always be kind.

Sex

Women
Talk about sex
Because
People
Talk about sex
And
Women
Are
People
<3

Listen.

Okay, listen.

You feel angry,
Overwhelmed,
Upset.
You feel like crying.
Like screaming.
Like
Breaking something.

So what do you do?
Shut down.
It reduces the pain, it
Takes away the

Immediate distress.

But

LISTEN!

Fucking listen!

Listen to your body, your heart.

You feel:
Like crying
Upset
Alone
Overwhelmed
Angry
Joyful
Motivated
Aggravated
Distressed
Passionate
And
Or
All the things that make
You

Human.

So.
You feel:
What?

Ask yourself:
What?

And what brought that up?
Where did it come from?
And how, how do I
Work
through this?

How can I

Feel

Without
Burying, decimating, destroying
Those feelings?

Because
without acknowledgement
They will later
reappear.

So:
Feel. Embrace. Accept.

Work through - grow.
Move forward.
Be one with those
Feelings that
Make
You

Beautiful.

Human.

HOW can I explain this??

I want
    to be more
    in touch with
    my heart
        my closest self
        my authentic ME

"The feels" -- should lead me somewhere -- should
    inform my action
        should
DRIVE ME
        should
touch me, then extend and
            touch all else --
                the things I interact with
         the
    world I put myself in
            the
    work
        I demonstrate
                    FUCK.

FUCK!
    How can I explain this?

I haven't been feeling.

I've been drowning myself in...numb?
    So stop.    Stop.    STOP.
        Cry. Hurt. Feel the pain -- THE PAIN OF

The pain. of. not. feeling.
    Because that shit hurts worse than --
        than anything that could be felt.

Feeling is the medium.  Emotion is the tool.
    This is how I show the world - myself included -
Who I Am.
        Feel. Create. Destroy.  Feel.  Create.  Destroy.

                BEGIN ANEW