Old Strings

I feel it fluttering deep inside -
Whatever it is just seems to hide.
There is no glimmer in your eyes;
I wonder if they'd even cry.

I cannot read you, cannot see,
Inside your deep, dark mystery.
I feel a move could make you flee!
Why risk the possibility?

Why is it that you drown in fear,
Of keeping any person near?
Have you even leaked a tear,
To mourn the one you've missed for years?

There's nothing I can do for you.
You must be the one to seek the truth,
To find old strings you must set loose,
And then forward, you can move.

To Run

Run.
Run, and run, and run;
don't stop.
Do your best to
just get lost.
Forget today,
tomorrow, next year.
Leave behind that
which has caused fear.
Dive right in the
deep dark sea.
Leave behind any
saddening memory.
Scream so loud
your throat goes raw.
Make that found
be full of awe.
The skies are open
ever endlessly.
Find what you seek
and make it sing.
The best things follow
that which takes work.
Push so hard
your face will smirk.
Push til it takes -
question, confront.
But last of all,
remember most:
it's always best
to run.

Which Side?

There's a tug and pull from
Two different sides.
Between such opposites,
I feel deep a fright.

The feminine, the sexy,
The pure, the chaste one,
The power, the pulsing;
To which side do I run?

Do I be who I am,
Risk some kind of scorn?
Or hide my true side,
Leave it forever unknown?

At the same time I'm not just
Some pretty, sweet little thing;
A toy here to play with,
To pull 'round on a chain.

I want some connection,
To come with intimacy,
To feed into my core,
And lift up my whole being.

There must be something between
Life long and just friends.
I must find that balance,
So my life's not pretend.

There Must

There must be a light at
The end of this tunnel.
There must be.
There must.

It's coming, it must be;
It's always shown up.
The light comes and swallows,
Those feelings of loss.

It's just, while I'm in there,
I can't feel the walls.
Even running forever
Won't shake off the rust.

My voice only echoes.
It bounces, it rings,
It skitters and dulls out;
My only response.

The silence is deadly,
It weighs like a rock.
No words can complete me,
They're covered in frost.

And just when I think
There's no end to this game,
The bright light, it blinds me,
Restores all my trust.

For by end it all works out;
There's always resolve.
There must be.
There must.

The Only Thing

Tumbling, falling, crashing down
The only thing that's left's to drown
Gasping, choking, losing breath
Yearning for something less intense
A deep and dark and deadly sea
Filled with dangers unforseen
Clawing, grasping, reaching out
This feeling can be done without
Crushing pressure, breaking bones
Losing track of what's unknown
Blind and lost, full of despair
Struggle to leave the demon's lair
Slicing, ripping, tearing skin
Tries to reach the heart within
Burning, searing, blistering, scorched
Breaks the soul with so much force
Body's frozen, cannot move
The only thing that's left's to lose.

My heart

My hopes, my goals, my dreams, my future.
My fear, my strength, my sadness - joy.
My love, my wants, my apprehension;
My heart.

My heart.

Walls tower upwards, do not crumble,
Left no gap; eyes cannot see.
Fingers bloody, they do tremble,
Cannot break with certainty.

No end in sight means constant battle -
Ears echo with unending screams.
Nothing here is ever subtle,
Held tight in a different plane.

Bloodshot eyes are filled with fury,
Groping, gripping, for a cure.
Tear these walls down please, and hurry!
Or forever, surely, they'll endure.

Fairy Tales

I want to be appreciated for
Things I appreciate about myself.
Please don't contradict me
Or try to stow me on a shelf.
I want those who see within me
To see what I see within myself.
If I'm stronger than you think I am
You're missing something else.
I want a gentle lover 'cause
I am so gentle with myself.
Someone who understands my heart

And leaves nothing left withheld.

I want a heart that burns white hot

Dances fire and fire with myself.

An ember blazing in the dark

That just will not be dispelled.

I want soft lips to match the way

Soft words echo from myself.

Words so deep and true and honest

Any doubts are chased with stealth.

But most of all I want someone to realize

The dreams I have for my future self.

To grasp my hand and run through time

Chase those stories, grasp those fairy tales.