Sadness

like clockwork, here it comes again
hello there, Sadness, my old friend
I've tried to ditch you in the past
but time and again you come on back
to torment me with heavy heart
to slowly rip my world apart
I'm certain now you're a disease
one that I can merely treat
each time I try to vanquish you
for a time I can find solitude
but soon again I cross your path
and Sadness, you disturb my grasp
on reality, which fades away
leaves me feeling so afraid
that I'll lose my tenuous hold
on what is left of my blurry world
I sink on down into the deep
forgetting what it is to breathe
and blind, I struggle for an edge
a crag to place my foot against
time stands still while I search
sure that I will not emerge
unharmed, unbroken, or alive
with anything for which to strive
and so I'll leave me for the wolves
alone while Sadness pounds my skull

can't

can't see
can't breathe
can't hear
can't feel
anything but the weight
which keeps me crushed here
beneath a burdensome dark marr
endless darkness, never stars
a tremor thumps, pounds in my chest
echoes, bounces, wraps me up
struggle, perilous pursuit
and now apocalyptic truths
hold me down and block my sight
leave a terror deep inside
fists strike out, punches thrown
but still I cannot feel the sun
frozen tundra, ice cold wind
try to trap me deep within
fighting back, attempt escape
break free of this grizzly cage
just when drowning's imminent
the surface breaks, allows a breath
and clawing upward, kicking down
abandon old and tarnished crown
which rested once upon the head
of my shadowed, plague-filled bed
sky light beckons, soft and sweet
easing lingering misery
gently brushes off dank dirt
offers a much needed cure
a respite from the weight of war
a nest! protection from all harm
safe now, bolstered energy
gives the voice power to sing
a way to manifest my dreams
and faced now with this certainty:
I can see
I can breathe
I can hear
I can feel

I can live.

distressed

I feel weak, I feel strung out
can barely muster strength to shout
although that's what I want to do
it won't fix this case of blues
pull the pieces back together
shove them, stick them, make them better
eat some chocolate, drink some wine
the pain will ease with pass of time
my heart aches deep inside my chest
it signifies a deep distress
the next step here is: LET IT OUT
break down walls and scream and shout
cry and thrash and break some things
turn up the music loud and sing
belt it till my voice goes hoarse
let this panic run it's course
write something, or paint, or run
make it match beat of my drum
the drum that pounds inside my chest
the one that tells me: I'm distressed!
I keep on searching for a cure
something to make my heart less sore
a laugh, a smile, brings respite
reminds me there's end to the night
so if I just keep pushing through
eventually, there'll be no blue
to hold me down and back me up
instead good things will fill my cup
and from within this sad cocoon
a strong, sweet soul will surely bloom.

my nest

my nest, it keeps me safe and warm
and even in the worst of storms
inside it's walls I feel at ease
hurricanes become soft breeze
I know for sure it's safe to say
that come rainy or sunny days
I'll always have a place to go
to rest and heal my weary soul
so I can stretch my wings again
feel them push against the wind
and though I love to see the sky
back to my nest I'll always fly.

more

I know not why some men do think
female only means the color pink.
There's nothing more to her than bows,
and for you is her choice of clothes.
Anything inside her brain,
because she's female, is insane.
Her opinions, silly, go unheard,
make her wonder, "am I absurd?"
Strength, once, power filled her heart,
now forgotten, dwindle in the dark.
Of course she knows not what she wants,
female, without man, is lost.
No recognition rots her core,
makes her forget she can do more
More
     than pretty, sweet, dear things
More 
     than shuttering her wings
More
     than soft, silent, demure
More
     than begging at your door
More
     than seeking approval
More
     than worth your betrothal
More
     than just your property
More
     which starts her heart to sing
Her symphony one day will rise,
within her chorus you'll realize:
ignoring her was a mistake,
now left behind, you're in her wake.
Her fire was easily sparked -
naturally, her light shone far.
The glow kindled her fantasies,
helped her navigate rough seas.
Mere glimpse of what there is to hold,
whetted her thirst to see the world.
Now she simply cannot stop
reaching, working, for her cause.
For once she found she was a star,
she woke up, moved on, reached for more.