Dust

You cut me out.
Ignored me.
Burned me.
Forgot me.

Now you show up at
my place of work...
Expecting what?
I don't give a fuck.

Sure, tell me what you "think" of me.
I'm awesome, intelligent, pretty, brilliant.
You can fuck yourself with that flattery.
You can't sell me a product I don't want.

Things ended for a reason
You can bet there's not a season
For anything to come to pass
Between us, nothing can last.

You're gone like dust
Just please now,
Suck it up;
Leave me be.

Nothing between you and I can be.

Burn Me

Burn me, turn me into dust
Obliterate that which made us us
Crush the pieces, leave no hint
Of good things that were found within
Why does the end just have to be
Denial of any sweet memory
As if no fallen piece prevails
Against the wall that made us fail
In retrospect there was no bad
That should leave us feeling more than sad
At losing what just could not be
Can't we at least keep fond memories?

Insecurities

Is there something wrong with me?
Is there something wrong with him?
Is there something wrong with everyone,
For whom I have a whim?

Is it possible to know,
When true love really hits?
Or do I have to wait around,
For my heart's apocalypse?

I often lay awake in wonder,
Of what will come to pass.
Eyes stay open full of worry;
Fear of having my hopes dashed.

In the end I'll be alone again,
So why try hard to fail?
It's because I see a burning light,
Piercing through my veil.

Today

I wanted to be mad today,
Before I passed the door.
But I can't find a way to stay,
Pissed off anymore.

I wanted to be dark today,
Keep the sun in shroud.
Grow the balls to smack your face,
But I don't see a cloud.

I wanted to be sad today,
Cry away your memory.
But something happened that's insane:
Your face I no longer see.

I wanted to scream loud today,
Show the world you're wrong.
Show you there's a price to pay,
For doing someone harm.

I realized something strong today:
For once I think you're gone.
I can no longer see your face,
So now I can move on.

Smoke

Smoke, it curls around her lips -
Vapor dances across her fingertips.
Wispy trails caress her form,
As she begs smoke: please stay strong.
Mist curls and twists against the breeze,
Disappearing now into the trees.
And just like that, the trail is gone.
When she looks, smoke can't be found.
Soot's heat is now mere memory,
Something that cannot be seen.
Her eyes grow full with fear of loss;
Smoke is gone like a cunning fox.
She'll reach and grasp so desperately,
Praying for a glimpse of smoke on breeze.

Edge of a Cliff

I'm on the edge of a cliff waiting for you,
To make up your mind - please tell me the truth.
Either let me fall or pull me in.
One way or another, I will begin.
With or without you, I will move on.
I want to do it together and make us strong.
If I must fall to the bottom and pick myself up,
I'm sure I can do it - my heart is tough.
I know it takes time to fall back in love,
And move past all of this horrible stuff.
But I'm fighting for balance while I wait to see,
If under the pain your heart still loves me.
Please push me off, man, or pull me back in,
So my heart can start moving forward again.

Intention

Love is a human need and a heart's desire.
Hey, don't you know you stoke my fire?
I want to give you all that I have,
So we can stray from pain in the past.

All I want is for you to see -
Do you remember what you thought of me?
Way back when we fell in love...
I knew you were the hand that fit my glove.

I do not want all we have to be lost,
So let's build a bridge - we can make it across.
My hands are stretched out in your direction,
Take them or don't; show me your intention.

Scar Tissue

I am so scared of the distance between us,
I have lost so much of you already.
I'm trying so hard to show you my patience,
I know you can't love til your heart is steady.

All the damage I've done is stuck in my brain,
So many regrets for things done and said.
I want so badly to move past this pain,
But I feel like we're stuck in limbo instead.

I know we can heal this together - I'm sure!
Scar tissue is thicker and tougher than skin.
Please, sir, there's so much I want to explore.
Our hearts can start beating together again.

The Silence of Us

I was inspired by the silence of us.
The simplicity - so little can hold so much.
That moment you held me in your arms,
I was bullet proof - the world could do no harm.
In that quiet I released so much tension.
It had all built up through repression.
We never confronted, together, all of our fears.
They separated us like a line of spears.
Let's pull these spears out of the ground,
Open our eyes and look around.
What can we do to escape this desert?
Save our love - the ultimate treasure.

Poisoned Darts

It's so fucking hard to look at you -
There are so many things I miss.
There's something about the things you do.
I just want to kiss your lips.
I'm afraid that if I do that, though,
I'll break your heart again.

Why did you have to hug me?
Why did you have to stop?
I wish you would have kissed me.
I wish we could have fucked.
Sometimes I see you in my dreams -
Sometimes I feel so lost.

I hate myself when you cry,
Wish I could fix this mess.
Wish I could have you at my side,
It's too much to confess.
But you deserve the best in life...
I don't have that to invest.

You say we'll see each other soon -
I want that, oh, so bad.
But I'm afraid if I see you,
I'll want to take you to my bed,
Fly away together to the moon -
Can we stop being so sad?

I know it's a lot to ask,
But I want you by my side.
Wish we could have each other's back,
Have fun on this ride called life.
I'm so sorry we can't have that,
All we'd do is hurt our pride.

I'm sorry that I hurt you,
It's the last thing that I want.
I really hate to see you blue,
With dust that's on your heart.
I love you, it's the scary truth,
It's why we must stay apart.

All I do is cause you pain,
I know this sounds so harsh,
But all we'll do is wreck this train,
If we touch each other's hearts.
That's why forever we'll abstain,
From throwing poisoned darts.

Without You

I'm sitting on this porch
     Without you.
I'm watching the orange
     Take over the blue.
Before long it will be too late
     No escape.
There's no surrender now
     Forget it.
Then it was now or never
     Gone like a feather.
I've tasted the freedom now
     Can't you see?
The only thing I need
     Is me.
I've got my own back
     Without you.
I'm letting the happy
     Take over the blue.

I Got Inspired.

I finally found my words.  I found my inspiration.  It's been way too long, and I've been trying to find it again.

So earlier, I had to find a pen because these words were threatening to spew out of me everywhere if I didn't.  This is rough, but it's a beginning.  So here's what I wrote.

You didn't even fight for me.

There were some things I really would've liked to hear you say.

But it was easy --

       Oh, so easy...
For you to let me go.

Did you ever even have it in you?

Did you ever have the drive?

I feel like you were just pretending,

When you said your heart was mine.

You used to say you loved me.

Why did that have to stop?

You forgot all about me.

Left me behind.

         In the dust.

You couldn't even look me in the eyes when we fucked.

But you won't find me up all night.

       No.
You won't.

I'm moving on. I've made up my mind.

You're not worth my precious time.

I have bigger, better things to do,

       Baby, than waste myself on you.

I could've shown you so, so much.

I hope you know I really tried.

But I'm not wasting any more time,

Waiting for you to smile.

It's my time to shine.